The Crowning

I took Miss Priss to the dentist today. She needed to get a crown on a cavity tooth that has been bothering her for some time.

At this time, I'd like to note that she is deathly afraid of the dentist. And the doctor. And dogs. And some medicines. And many more random things.

It's an irrational fear, really. One that cannot be dealt with on any level of normalcy once it hits a certain stage.

Today was no different.

We had to go an hour before her appointment, so she could drink the "juice" that would help her relax.

Even though I had thoroughly prepared her, she refused to drink it. For a looooooooong time. Until they threatened to give it to her in the form of several shots. They also offered her an extra prize from the basket. Then she drank it, unwillingly, but surely.

After an hour in the waiting room, the drugs finally kicked in. Or so we thought.

Unfortunately, they didn't quite do the trick.

They took her back to the room, and tried, unsuccessfully to give her the laughing gas. But I can assure you that no one was laughing. At any time.

I left the room, thinking that, in my absence, she would chill out and listen to the dentist.

Meanwhile, a younger girl in the exam room next door started crying, thinking she was going to have to undergo whatever horribleness that was happening to my child. My hysterical child, who is 8, by the way.

But after an extended period of screaming and going through 3 different hygienists, I was paged to return to her room.

Joy.

I was told we could reschedule and go to the Surgical Center, where they would put her completely under, for only about $2000, I'm guessing.

Or we could strap her to the papoose board and get it done today.

I told them to give us the board.

With the help of two other ladies, we got her strapped down. It was a little freaky, to be honest. I had no idea they used those things in the dentist office.

And apparently they don't very often. Only in special circumstances, I was told.

Since her head was still able to move after being papoosed, the assistant had to hold her cheeks in place while the tooth got crowned.

They still needed complete x-rays, since she wouldn't cooperate for that on our last visit. I suggested they might want to get that done too, while she was strapped in and all. They agreed.

The visit only took us three solid hours.

But we have a lovely silver tooth to show for it.

And a smaller balance in our checking account. (Did I mention that they charge extra for "Behavioral Management", that is conveniently not covered by insurance?)

And a year's worth of embarrassment.